Construction Definitions Funny And Serious

A - H

11 Steps To Contractor Success - A progam designed by The Contractors Accountant for contractors to make more money faster

Auditor -Person who goes in after the war is lost and bayonets the wounded

Assets of Company - Cash / Receivables – Payables / Trucks / Tools / Equipment / Material

Assets of Firm - Cash / Business Process / Sales Process / Client List / Predictable Cash Flow

Bad Bookkeeping - Saving money on crap that don’t matter and making decisions on gut instinct

Bad Bookkeeper - Someone who leaves construction business owners standing alongside the remains of their business which has been run off the road, flipped upside down into the ditch, exploded, in flames with smoke and fire belching from every window, door, crack and crevice leaving the business owner staring in utter disbelief, wide eyed, mouth open, flat broke and remembering the article about in Fast Easy Accounting about Bad Bookkeepers

Bankruptcy - Result of saving money on crap that don’t matter and making crappy decisions

Belly Button Accountability - The one person who is responsible for a deliverable on a construction project

Double Billing -Suppliers, Vendors who have bad bookkeepers or a terrible accounting system will sometimes issue the same bill several times.  In most cases it was not intentional.

Bid - A wild guess carried out to two decimal places

Bid Collector - Customer looking for cheap contractor

Bid Opening - A poker game in which the losing hand wins

Business Life Cycle - Start small / grow big / lose shirt / shrink back to small business

Business Plan - A plan to have accurate financial reports to base long and short term decisions on

Business Process - Documented system for how work gets done at the Firm

Business Roundtable - Little round table in tavern with pitcher of beer and contractors strategizing

Caveman Contractor - Someone skilled in building new houses, commercial buildings and other structures

Change - The only people who embrace change are wet babies! Everyone else fights change!

Cheap - Not enough time or money to do it right first time; but plenty of time and money to do it over

Comfort Zone - Success you have now since that is what you feel you deserve no more / no less

Company Bookkeeper - Wealth prevention tool that makes certain the owner does not earn more than the bookkeepers

Completion Date - The point at which liquidated damages begin

Construction Train Wreck - Getting multiple bids and choosing the low bidder

Contractor Gambling - One project away from making it big or going broke

Contractor Chaos - Contractor netting <$100K doing everything his way; especially the bookkeeping!

Contractor Cheap - Amateur with customers from Hell and host of the game show “Low Price Leader”

Contractor Income - The average of their Client’s income / Birds of a feather flock together

Contractor Rich - BCA Client earning $100K-$200K by building a Client base to sell and service

Contractor Student - BCA Client net <$100K learning how to get Rich then Wealthy

Contractor Successful - Contractor using timely accurate financial reports to base their decisions upon

Contractor Volume - Loses money on every sale and tries to make it up on volume of new work

Contractor Wealthy - BCA Client earning $200K + Investing 50K with 100 clients to service

Cowboy Contractor - Someone skilled in residential remodel or commercial tenant improvement work

Critical Path Method - A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect control

Delayed Payment - A tourniquet applied at the pockets

Delusional - Contractor going to learn QuickBooks in a few months

Developer - Company looking for a few, good, low priced, high volume contractors

Displaced Aggression - Being angry at someone due to events/circumstances from elsewhere

Emerging Contractor - Someone who is moving to a little less hands-on role in their contracting company you could be an Emerging Contractor.

Engineer's Estimate - The cost of construction in heaven.

Expensive - Goods or services that no matter how cheap they are; do not work

Experience - What you get, when you get, what you don’t want

Failure - A few errors in judgment repeated everyday

Fast Easy Accounting Coach - Someone who helps you raise your level of thinking

Fast Easy Accounting Staff Member - Cheerful, well paid, thinking, responsible adult, Mastermind Team member

Fear - What initiates change or stops progress

Fifteen Minutes Too Late - If you think you should fire somebody you’re already 15 minutes too late

Four Dreaded Words - "Since it is open anyway..." and "It would be easy..." and "While we are here..." and "I have another idea..." and "How about if we..."

Fully Burdened Rate - Overhead divide by number of Admin Staff (Owner salary not in Overhead)

Hard Work - Expressway to Retiriment

I - J

Income - Working for daily money 

Infantile Omnipotence - Newborn babies learn by doing. When they experience the least bit of discomfort they automatically cry which causes large friendly beings to appear and magically fix whatever issue they are experiencing. Unfortunately some people never mature and convert this concept into a manipulative behavior of getting upset, angry or violent in order to get what they want.

Insanity - Hiring and firing in-house bookkeepers over and over and over expecting useful reports

Inexpensive - Goods or services that do work beyond the warranty period

KPI - Key Performance Indicators if viewed daily and understood leads to wealth

Lawyer - Person who goes in after the auditors to strip the bodies

Leveling - When two or more people spend time together the group will level to the strongest personality

Liquidated Damages - A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible

Low Bidder - A contractor who is wondering what he left out

MasterMind Group - A place in Lynnwood Washington for contractors to meet and share best practices for growing their businesses

OSHA - Protective coating made by half-baking a mixture of fine print, red tape, split hairs and baloney

P - Z

Peter Principle - Promoting a construction journeyman / technician to working Project Manager or working foreman without formal training. Leads to Construction Train Wrecks.

Pioneer - Contractor with flaming arrows in the back from asking the bookkeeper for accurate reports

Plans - Drawings showing what the finished product would look like if it were built in Heaven.

PMP - Project Management Professional. Someone who has been trained in managing construction projects and is skilled in planning and communication.

Process - System to produce predicable quality results and reap dividends for the owners

Process Development - Do it, Document it, and Delegate it

Project Manager - The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union

Purpose of Firm - Acquire clients and satisfy their needs

Rain Maker - The person in the contractors firm that acquires new clients

Retainage - Method used to help finance the construction project and reduce contractor's profit. 

Retired - Means you got tired of them, or they got tired of you

Rich - Income exceeds outgo

ROI - Risk of Incarceration because of bad bookeeping

 

 

Salesperson - Amateur sorter

Sales Process - Documented system for acquiring new clients for the Firm

Signer - Someone other than the business owners with access to your bank account to pay bills or make tax payments....NEVER EVER A GOOD IDEA because everyone runs short of cash and the temptation to "Borrow" with the "Intention" of putting it back is having a high calorie snack with the intention of exercising later to get rid of it!

Shoe Salesman Contractor - Someone skilled in servicing, repairing and being a handyman for houses, commercial buildings and other structures

Sorter - Professional Rain Maker

Strike - An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken

Success - A few simple disciplines practiced everyday

Warranty Work - The never-ending project

Wealth - Not working because you have enough cash to live the rest of your life

Wealth Prevention Tool - Bad Bookkeeper who does everything possible to make certain business owners a paid the same or less than the Bad Bookkeeper.

When You Become A Client - Then we can tap into our resources of knowledge and strategy banks. We use the reports hidden in your QuickBooks in order to diagnose and understand your construction business and develop plans and help you implement a path to success for you and you alone because every contractor has unique Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats (S.W.O.T. Analysis) that when understood can lead to a Strategic Roadmap which cannot help but make a lot of money.

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If You Are A Contractor You Deserve To Be Wealthy

Because You Bring Value To Other People's Lives!

This Is One More Example of how Fast Easy Accounting is helping construction company owners just like you put more money in the bank to operate and grow your construction company. Construction accounting is not rocket science; it is a lot harder than that and a lot more valuable to people like you and me so stop missing out! Call Sharie 206-361-3950 or sharie@fasteasyaccounting.com and schedule your no charge one-hour consultation.

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Profitable Contractors and Construction Company owners have known about the value of outsourced bookkeeping services and contractor coaching services like ours for a long time and now you know about it too! 

We Scan Your Receipts And Invoices link the appropriate transactions to QuickBooks or Xero Accounting Online depending on the construction accounting service you are using and provide ongoing Cloud Based Contractors Bookkeeping Services by accountants who understand construction.

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About The Author:

Randal DeHart, PMP, QPA The Construction Accountant Randal DeHart, PMP, QPA is the co-founder of Business Consulting And Accounting in Lynnwood Washington. He is the leading expert in outsourced construction bookkeeping and accounting services for small construction companies across the USA. He is experienced as a Contractor, Project Management Professional, Construction Accountant, Intuit ProAdvisor, QuickBooks For Contractors Expert and Xero Accounting Specialist and Bill.Com Certified Guru. This combination of experience and skill sets provides a unique perspective which allows him to see the world through the eyes of a contractor, Project Manager, Accountant and construction accountant. This quadruple understanding is what sets him apart from other Intuit ProAdvisors and Xero accountants to the benefit of all of the construction contractors he serves across the USA. Visit http://www.fasteasyaccounting.com/randal-dehart/ to learn more.

Our Co-Founder Randal DeHart - Is a Certified PMP (Project Management Professional) with several years of construction project management experience. His expertise is construction accounting systems engineering and process development. His exhaustive study of several leading experts including the work of Dr. W. Edward Deming, Michael Gerber, Walter A. Shewhart, James Lewis and dozens of others was the foundation upon which our Construction Bookkeeping System is based and continues to evolve and improve. Follow Randal on Google+

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